


Drunken Shenanigans

by Pinepickled



Category: DCU (Comics), Wonder Woman - All Media Types
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:02:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26655583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinepickled/pseuds/Pinepickled
Summary: Diana and Artemis meet in a bar.  Fun times ensue.
Relationships: Artemis of Bana-Mighdall & Bizarro (DCU) & Jason Todd, Artemis of Bana-Mighdall/Diana (Wonder Woman), Jason Todd & Artemis of Bana-Mighdall, Jason Todd/Bizzaro
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10
Collections: DCU Rarepair Exchange 2020





	Drunken Shenanigans

**Author's Note:**

  * For [join_the_conga](https://archiveofourown.org/users/join_the_conga/gifts).



Artemis sighed, checking her watch for what felt like the millionth time. They were supposed to be at the bar at 7 pm, but Jason had insisted on perfecting his and Bizzaro’s couple’s costume last minute and it was taking  _ forever. _ Finally, Artemis let her impatience get the best of her, and stormed into the room where Jason was sewing buttons onto Bizzaro’s shirt.

  


“Alright, I am tired of waiting. Meet me there.” She snapped, waiting for Jason to acknowledge that he’d heard before stalking out of the apartment. The festivities had already begun for most of the city, kids running around trick-or-treating, teenagers popping out of bushes and scaring the parents and the few who were, like Artemis, piling into bars. Jason had chosen a classy lounge, filled with high-quality alcohol for a reasonable price and a dancefloor that didn’t reek. Jason may be a dumbass who decided to mend shirts last second for two hours, but he did have great taste. Artemis readjusted her holster and approached the bar.

  


What immediately caught her eye was the bartender. She had long, pitch black hair, cornflower blue eyes, olive skin, and was wearing the same kind of costume Artemis was. Artemis had opted for an old Spartan outfit, complete with a fake axe tied to her back, traditional sandals, and leather armor. The bartender had instead gone for a more Athenian ceremonial outfit, silver and gold lining her armor and a golden rope tied to her hip. The woman caught her staring, and her face lit up. Clearly, she’d noticed the same thing Artemis had. The red-haired woman approached the bar, feeling a grin split her face.

  


“Hey there warrior! I see you are the only other person in this bar with any taste. I’m Diana.” She said, sticking out a hand. Artemis beamed back at her.

  


“I am Artemis. And I must say, you look absolutely stunning in these clothes!” She said, taking Diana’s hand. Her hand was rough and calloused, fitting nicely against Artemis’ own hand, and she felt herself flush.

  


“So, uh, what drinks would you recommend? Preferably something that doesn’t taste like gasoline.” Diana laughed heartily at Artemis’ little joke, and the redhead felt her heart melt.

  


“Well, a lot of people here like the Nightwing- it’s got a lot of vodka and a lot of blueberry flavor- but if you ask me, the Batman is better. Be warned, however- it really packs a punch before you even know what’s happened.” Diana said with a sly grin. Artemis slammed her hands down, and Diana set to work.

  


~~~~~~

  


“Hark! There art my beautiful twunk and hunk friends! Who have now taken six incense sticks to mend thy shirt!” Artemis roared, one leg on a table and the other on a chair. The other guests of the bar cheered around her, the classy feel of the establishment long gone, replaced by the lizard brain instincts and the encouragement of two very drunk greek women. Jason had a look of abject horror on his face, while Bizarro looked nothing but delighted. Artemis could not care less. She had a beautiful maiden in one arm and a pint of The Batman in the other. She jumped down from the table to inform her two companions of the fact.

  


“Look, my puny red friend! I have found myself a beautiful maiden who can also take part in your torture! Is this not wonderful? And Bizarro! She knows how to make dolls! We can make you a new Pup-Pup!” Bizarro instantly lit up, while Jason looked resigned to his fate. Artemis ignored him, instead choosing to return her gaze to the lovely maiden next to her. Diana was loudly chatting with an older man, but abruptly ended it to whirl around and give Artemis a loud kiss on the cheek, making the red headed woman blush right down to her chest. Her heart fluttered every time Diana merely looked at her, let alone when Diana kissed her. She would be dead and defeated by the end of the night, that Artemis was sure of.

  


Artemis gently tugged Diana closer, and enveloped the taller woman in a hug, and rested her head on Diana’s breasts. A wise choice, as they were soft and Artemis liked breasts. Diana did not mind at all, it seemed, for she was laughing joyfully and carding her fingers through red hair. Diana tugged Artemis’ face up for another kiss, this time on the mouth, and Artemis felt butterflies stir in her chest. Her lips were so soft, and her hands so sure on Artemis’ jaw, it was too much for her poor heart to handle. She had the vague thought to ask for Diana’s number, to not let such a fine maiden slip away.

  


~~~~

  


It was later in the night now, two am if Artemis could guess correctly, and herself and Diana were stumbling around the street, oohing and aahing at the decorations that the richer houses had put up. One had a pop-up skeleton that scared Artemis right into Diana’s strong arm, giggling and snorting. They hadn’t detached since. Diana was warm, and the night was cold, and they had too much alcohol in their systems for anything other than giggling and pointing at things and then giggling some more. They walked and laughed for what felt like ages until they came across an apple tree. 

  


Diana held her hand up, stumbled a bit, and then righted herself with clear view of the apple tree. She pulled off her lasso, spun it once, then twice, then tree times, and then through it at one of the apples on the tree… and missed completely. Artemis barked a laugh, and Diana whirled on her with a pout.

  


“If you think it’s so funny  _ hic _ why don’t you do this  _ hic  _ then?” Diana said, shoving the gilded rope into the red heads' hands. Artemis snorted, and then took a position. She zeroed in on an apple low on the tree, and began spinning her lasso. One time, two times, three times, and then four times, and then she threw. She had, however, gotten the spin on the lasso wrong, so instead the rope went backwards. In Artemis’ panic, she ended up maneuvering the rope in such a way that it hit herself multiple times and ended up tangled around her. Artemis was a giggling mess by the end of the ordeal.

  


Diana laughed loudly, eyes crinkling, lips spread wide, and Artemis sighed in contentment. She had truly never met a more beautiful and strong woman, and she needed more Diana in her life. She suddenly remembered her note from earlier in the night.

  


“Hey, wass yur number? I wanna keep talkin’ to ya.” Artemis slurred, stumbling a bit in the rope. Diana squealed and busted out a pen from who knows where. She scribbled down for a bit, crossed out a couple of times, and then went to hand it to Artemis and then realized Artemis had no hands to take it with. She giggled madly and then went about untangling the rope. Artemis gazed at Diana fondly and knew she would be with this woman for the rest of her life.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like this! I really love these two and writing them being cute together was a joy.


End file.
